‘Joke’ Mail

Written By: Joe Bingham

I love email. I love to hear from friends, and I love to get new
subscribers. Paypal is one of my favorite places to hear from as
well. It’s always nice to make some money for what I am doing.

I also love to read the ezines to which I have subscribed. I often
learn a lot from them, and get many article ideas just by bouncing
off of what others have said.

However, there’s that certain once in a while when all of a


I subscribe to something like 12-15 ezines. Honestly speaking,
that’s not very many either. These are all ones that I usually read.
Plus there are two others that won’t go away. I’ve actually gone
through the unsubscribe process 3-4 times and yet they still come.

I’m also subscribed to a publisher’s discussion list, about 8 article
announcement lists, and am on about 15 other company mailing

Then there’s other publisher’s I converse with regularly. Plus, I
have to answer questions concerning my services, feedback from
readers, process free ads from new subscribers, and I occasionally
get letter from Mom and Dad.

So, let me tell you, there’s times it can really pile up. Especially if I
do something drastic like take a day off.

I’m not complaining, mind you, I do love my business and hearing
from everyone involved. The only reason I’m bringing this up is to
ask a simple question.

Besides all of these regular emails I get, I receive a few others as
well. Many people call them ‘spam’ emails. I’ve come to think of
them in a different term, however. I call them Jokes.

Look people, I get on average 60 emails a day. Most, say 45-50
of these are legitimate things such as that named above that I want
to look at and respond to in many cases.

So, those of you out there that send me these ‘joke’ emails, I ask

Do you really think after dealing with all that other stuff that I’m
even going to consider looking at an email coming from someone I
don’t know with the subject line of “Help! I’m Making Too Much
Money!” or “Your $10,000 Commission is Here!”?

I’m not one to make a big deal about receiving unsolicited email. I
do, however, have a personal vendetta against blatant stupidity!

I got one recently that said, “For Women Only”. If it’s for women
only, well, then, why did you send it to me?

Then there was, “Are You Lonely Tonight?” Huh! I’m married
with four kids, what do you think?

Oh, and I love these, “You’ve Just Earned a Commission!”
Really? So, I’ve never even heard of you Mister, what was
it, pc49837? And you’re going to send me money? Wow!

The best, of course, are the ones supposedly from some ‘official’ in
one Asian country or another that is planning to escape to the
United States only he needs help transferring his $476 million
‘escape’ funds. All he needs is my bank account information and I
can keep 40% of the $476 million.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I love it! This is better entertainment than
even I can write !

Oh, and how about the ones that just say ‘from Bobby’ or some
other name. Then inside it has links for 12 different things. No
explanation, just links. Hey Bobby, just curious, you making any

Another funny thing is when the email contains the addresses of the
other 20000 people that got the mailing, and the opening line of the
text says something like, “Exclusive Opportunity!”

Really? Apparently you’ve taken it upon yourself to redefine the
term ‘exclusive’.

I don’t know. I just don’t know. If you’ve got to send email to
people about your opportunities, fine do it. Send me something
relevant to what I’m doing and I might just read it, even if it is

However, I’m a busy man. I get a lot of relevant email as it is. It
can be too much sometimes even. All I’m saying here is that non-
targeted advertising is a complete waste of time and money.

I’m a 31 year old, American male who likes the outdoors, the
Internet, has four kids, and a wife. If you send me email about
erectile dysfunction, British opera, gay rights parades, or sushi
houses, you’re NOT going to get a response!

I believe that’s fair, don’t you?

About the Author

Joe Bingham, Editor of the NetPlay Newsletters
Subscribe to One 3 Quality NetPlay Ezines, See which one fits you at:

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